Going Postal

I’m heading overseas and hoping to keep in touch with far-flung friends using good old-fashioned postcards. I won’t have a return address so you’ll be spared the burden of replying.

No idea how often I’ll write but I figure it can’t be too hard to pen a humble postcard or two to each friendly face on the list, and I might also manage the odd birthday message to a few of you fine folk for good measure.

• There are no unsubscribe links on postcards so if you wanna opt out down the track you’ll have to move house, set fire to your mailbox and/or get a restraining order against your postman (or neknominate another Webb in your case Huffwee).
• There’s every chance this could become a slippery slope to penning bad poetry and dodgy song lyrics so consider yourself complicit when one thing leads to another and a limerick lands in your letterbox.
• Postcards plastered with back-to-back sides of unbroken text are apparently above board so strap yourself in for 1,000 word essays in size 6 type. We can’t all be as pithy as the original poet laureate of postcards scribbling “I love drugs” to Julz from the midst of an overseas “trip” (well played D-Caff).

I want to write a little more often but I don’t get excited about journalling, social media or blogging, and there’s only so much you can fit in grafitti on the backs of dunny doors. Just because it’s not worth reading doesn’t mean it’s not worth writing — at least, that’s very much the spirit of this endeavour.

I also want to make more of an effort to keep in touch with the many marvellous folk I’ve met over the years. This seems like a more genuine way to do that, and also helps me keep track of everyone’s local city to catch up (and couch-surf!) next time I’m in town.

Nothing beats easy wins, cutting corners and taking shortcuts (and also building websites) so I want to be able to skip the tedious parts of the postal service. No more licking the back of Queen lizzie’s crown or finding the nearest newsagent and letterbox.

I’ll knock together my own postcard generator so I can easily see the next legend on the list, write a message, line up a cover image then hit send and have PostGrid handle the printing and delivery. And if I’m too lazy to take a photo I can just upload an embarassing happy snap from your shady past, or get a 🤖 to generate an image from the words of whatever tune is playing at the time, or source a pic from somewhere (it might be time to finally learn photoshop).

As a bonus, it means the postcards will still be sent locally even while I’m off gallavanting round the globe (places to go, emissions targets to keep), and we can trade my handwritten scrawl for your favourite font so you don’t have to decipher my distinctive penmanship (West Wing, anyone?). You’ll be pleased to know you can enjoy all the sexy curves of some classic Comic Sans Mr Joshy John and Rhys the spy you’re obviously down for Wingdings. Three guesses what you’re getting if your name is Georgia or Ariel (sorry - sometimes uncles make the worst dad jokes, if Uncle DenDen taught us anything).

Plus I’ll have a digital copy of every postcard, which feels like a vaguely fun way to document a trip, like a rambling scrapbook of messages to friends and fam.

¯\_(ツ)_/¯